No Holds Barred: The Case for Extreme Christian Reconciliation

Paul's Letter to Philemon

Real Family

v.1 –

• ·         Paul identifies himself as a prisoner of Christ.  Every major English translation renders this word the same, prisoner.  This is a very unusual manner of introduction.  People usually say they are an associate, a servant, a co-worker, a relative, etc.  But Paul says he is a “captive in bonds” of Jesus.  There is a depth of ownership and belonging here that transcends human relationship paradigms.  Because it is not just that Paul is a prisoner, but he is a willing prisoner.  His willingness is implicit by the fact that he chooses to self-identify this way.
• ·         Paul calls Philemon a beloved brother.  This word has connotations of esteem, love, and favoritism.  Philemon is dear to Paul.  This again is very odd in human terms.  Although we do not know exactly the extent of the relationship between these men, it seems likely that they did not enjoy the same level of intimacy that Paul had with others such as Timothy, Barnabas, and Luke.  So for Paul to address Philemon this way indicates an affection which, according to human wisdom, seems totally out of place.
• ·         Paul also refers to Philemon as a co-worker.  This is someone you can count on.  This is a faithful person who can be trusted to pull their weight and shoulder their portion of the load.  The presence of a co-worker implies the pursuit and accomplishment of a task.  More specifically, this would be a large task that one cannot complete on their own.  So there is a tangible purpose behind this relationship, forming the bounds and perimeter of it.

v.2 –

• ·         Paul describes Archippus as a soldier.  A fellow soldier is not merely a friend or acquaintance.  This is someone you will entrust your life to.  This is someone who will be welded to you relationally to such an enormous extent that even biological familial relations may seem inferior.  When two people are thrust together, for a prolonged period of time, into near death experiences, it causes an inter-dependence on each other that is impossible to simulate devoid of those experiences.  And this is how Paul sees these fellow Christians whom he has very little contact with.  Again we see the Apostle drawing out elements of the body of Christ that are atypical to our cultural Christian tendencies.

v.3 –

• ·         To all of these people Paul expresses kind greetings.  He offers grace and peace.  Grace is unmerited favor.  Paul is telling them that they have his blessings and gratitude, notice, whether they have done anything or not.  He has a well-spring of positive emotion for these people and it depends not one bit on their particular actions or behaviors.  Peace is a state of tranquility.  It is the absence of conflict.  It is a bonding together in relationship of two or more parties.  This is, on a fundamental level, a foreign concept to humanity.  Our lives are forged and defined by conflict and opposition.
• ·         Both of these sentiments are communicated, not from Paul himself, but on behalf of God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.  Paul is merely the messenger, the conduit through which the favor and harmony of God flows. 
• ·         All of these points serve to illustrate a model of Christianity that is woefully absent in my own life.  To follow the pattern of Paul I ought to see my fellow Christians as dearly beloved friends, trusted co-workers, and intimate squad-mates.  I need to feel unmerited favor toward them as well as a harmony that is devoid of any strife.  And I must recognize that all of this is not from me in any way.  It is purely of the Lord.  I just happen to be one of His agents employed in the task of reconciling people to Himself.  If Paul could feel this way about people he probably rarely had any contact with, perhaps had only met once or twice, and was separated from by hundreds of miles then why am I not displaying much more of these qualities to the body of Christ that I am involved with on a daily or weekly basis?

Faith = Love

v.4 –

• ·         Paul thinks of his fellow Christians when he prays.  This causes him to express thanksgiving to God.  This does not match my prayer life very well.  Typically, I find myself praying for needs of others.  I do not often give thanks for the people God has placed in my life.  I may express appreciation in a general sense (e.g. thankfulness for my local church in general) but this model in Philemon seems to be of a more personal nature; Paul is specifically thankful for individuals.

v.5 –

• ·         Not only is Paul’s thanks specific to a person, but it is explicit to that person’s life; their choices, actions, and patterns of behavior.  I need to be similarly specific about why I appreciate the Lord for the people he puts me in proximity to.
• ·         This verse is a little tricky to understand.  The Greek seems to read “I hear of your love and the faith which you have toward the Lord Jesus and toward all the saints”.  But it does not make any sense that Philemon’s faith would be directed toward other believers.  The pattern in the New Testament is always of faith exclusively in God alone.  Additionally, similar thought patterns from other Pauline letters (c.f. Eph. 1:15, Col. 1:4) would seem to corroborate that the meaning here is more akin to “I hear of your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love toward all the saints”.  Seen in this light the meaning of the verse then becomes that Philemon’s faith in Christ is demonstrated through his love for the saints. 
• ·         This is an astonishing link between faith and love.  Just as James says that faith without words is dead, Paul is similarly saying that faith without demonstrated love toward others is not real faith.  Note that he does not specifically say that here.  But he is revealing a pattern of behavior in Philemon’s life.  This pattern of behavior is one that produces thankfulness and joy in Paul’s heart.  Therefore, what is being described is de facto the normative expectation of the Christian life.  So then, to veer from this pattern is to stray from the truth that scripture is a model of and fall into falsehood and deception.  Thus we can say that faith without love is not genuine faith.

v.6 –

• ·         There is a symbiosis present in the community of the church.  Believers share life together and fellowship in the reality of the faith in Christ they share.  This fellowship produces not ignorance, not nominal Christianity, and not weak spiritual children.  Rather it produces a deepened understanding, a mature theology, and a realization of the fullness of the blessings they are privy to through the work of Christ.

v.7 –

• ·         Again Paul expresses the joy and encouragement he experiences through the testimony of another.  I find it incredible this depiction of harmonious and nurturing co-existence between these first century Christians.  Paul’s delight in Philemon has no self-interest at all.  It is produced by the positive effect that Philemon’s good works are having on the Christian community as a whole.  As stated repeatedly through these first seven verses, I find this to be so striking because it is so far removed from my default behavioral tendencies apart from the presence of the Holy Spirit in my life.  This dichotomy results in a constant war within my members wherein I must discipline myself and be ever vigilant against falling into a self-centered individualistic mode of thinking.

Appeal vs. Order

v.8 –

• ·         Paul’s confidence in Christ apparently gave him the motivation to issue orders to fellow Christians.  What does this mean?  I think it means that Paul knew Christ “had his back”, so to speak.  He knew that in spite of any opposition he carried with him the authority of the Son of God.
• ·         I think Christians often act quite the opposite of Paul’s statement here.  We do not act as if Christ “has our backs”.  We are timid.  We are squeamish.  We live in fear and in disobedience to the commands of Christ.  Two examples of this come immediately to mind: loving confrontation and personal evangelism.

v.9 –

• ·         It is astonishing to me the great depths of meaning that are present in so many facets of the Bible.  Here is no exception.  There is a two stage progression here from confident order to loving appeal.  So although, as I stated, I believe we often fail at even the first stage, that of action backed by the confidence of Christ, Paul is intimating that there is an even more profound level of behavior to be found in this realm of inter-personal relations; that of love.
• ·         For love’s sake he appeals to Philemon.  He forgoes the order that he is authorized to issue.  Out of love he does not want to have to order Philemon to do what is right.  He wants to plead with him to be Christ-like.  It is in this that Paul will ultimately find greater joy.
• ·         As a father, my pattern is to proceed from a soapbox of my own authority.  I issue orders and demand obedience.  I see it as my right under God.  And there is certainly a sense in which I am correct.  God definitely has given me the task of leading my family and first determining the difference between right and wrong, then acting upon that difference.  But oh that I would start from a foundation of tenderness and affection.

Useful Tools

v.10 –

• ·         Once again we see Paul’s literal interpretation of the concept of the family of God that he writes about elsewhere (e.g. Rom. 8:14-16, 29).  When he writes that Onesimus is “his child” he is not merely indicating that Onesimus is under age or a young person.  Paul is literally calling him his son.  I am continually amazed at the depth of selflessness shown by Paul in that even while in prison his outlook tends toward others.  He seems to be more focused on making a disciple out of Onesimus than he is on his own imprisonment.

v.11 –

• ·         The words useless and useful that Paul employs in this verse are interesting choices.  Most English translations render both words identically, the main exception being the KJV which uses unprofitable and profitable instead.
• ·         On the word useless I see this; is it right and fitting to assess someone’s profitability to another.  If a person, through their irresponsible choices and actions, is a burden to other people we ought not to shy away from confronting that issue.  But it should not be done vindictively, as Paul makes quite clear here.  Although he recognized that Onesimus had been “useless” formerly, apparently Paul sought to make him “useful” rather than simply discarding him.  Paul did not just complain about the situation without offering solutions to the problem.
• ·         On the word useful I see this; it is a good thing to be “made use of” by another.  In our country and society of rugged individualism I think most men view depending on or being a tool of other people as a very negative concept.  I know in my case; I definitely tend toward that perspective.  But being used is exactly what Paul is extolling here about Onesimus.  Paul is lauding this apparently newly found character trait in Philemon’s former slave.  And in retrospect, it is actually perfectly obvious that this is how things should be.  The message of Jesus was overwhelmingly about denying self, being a servant, and being used by others (in particular His Father in Heaven).  It is only our faulty human egos that prevent us from seeing this obvious truth.

Good Intentions

v.12 –

• ·         Paul regards Onesimus with such tender affection that he likens him to his internal organs: heart, intestines, spleen, etc.  This gives us an even deeper level of insight into the character of Onesimus.  We know from the last sentence that Paul regards him as a useful tool.  But this takes his estimation of Onesimus to another level.  Consider the dramatic change that must have been wrought by God in the heart of this former slave.  He had run away originally, in what cannot be viewed any other way than as a selfish act.  To focus upon one’s own plight as a slave and act in violation of the law in pursuit of escape indicates a fundamental preference for one’s own gratification.  But now, apparently, Onesimus is so intent upon others that Paul sees him as a part of his own body.  There is no way this would be possible if the former slave was still holding to the human tendency to elevate self.

v.13 –

• ·         There is an assumption here on the part of the Apostle.  He takes it for granted that Philemon has a desire to serve him in prison.  How could Paul possibly know this?  Is this just a general understanding of how early Christians interacted with each other?  Or does it perhaps indicate the existence of a more developed relationship between Paul and Philemon than we were previously aware of; possibly through letter writing or visitations.

v.14 –

• ·         Ah hah!  And now Paul gives us the answer to our question from the previous verse.  No, he is not assuming anything.  He does not just take it for granted that Philemon desires to minister to him while in prison.  Paul wants a definite answer and specific intention from his brother in Christ.  He wants Philemon to send Onesimus back to Paul out of generosity.  It is important in Paul’s mind that this act of service be done willingly, not under compulsion.
• ·         There is an element of the importance of good intent and deliberate decision to be seen here.  It is not enough to merely say that we will help someone; we must follow through.  It is not enough to merely say that we love someone; we must sacrifice our own time, energy, and resources to demonstrate that love.  It is not enough to merely say that we love God; we must “show our faith by our good works” as James says.

The Big Picture

v.15-16 –

• ·         Paul reminds us here of the powerful truth that God’s ways and means are not bound by our limited understanding of and self-centered perspective on things.  When a situation occurs in our lives our immediate and automatic response is to relate it to our own preferences, interests, and comforts.  But the truth is that what occurs in our life is not actually about us at all.  We are participants to be sure.  But what is important in the experiences we have is God’s purpose in them.  And since Scripture assures us that God’s ultimate purpose is always to glorify Himself, we can say with confidence that God’s purpose in the experiences He ordains for us is to bring renown to His name.
• ·         In this case the initial, surface assessment of Onesimus’s actions was that Philemon lost a slave.  This would have included financial loss, both from the initial investment Philemon probably made and the extra outlay of money it would cost him to replace Onesimus.  The flight of his slave would have also impacted Philemon materially in the sense that the affairs of his home were disrupted to some degree.
• ·         But then Paul comes along and suggests that God’s purpose in this (notice Paul is not saying that this is definitely the case, underscoring the fact that, although he was an Apostle he by no means knew the complete mind of the Lord) may have been to cause Philemon a temporary, trivial loss so that in the long run he could experience a permanent, major gain.
• ·         Paul’s statement puts us in mind of the transient nature of earthly treasures versus the everlasting value of heavenly possessions.  It also reminds us of how much more valuable a brother is than a slave.  The point being that Philemon is going to be far better off in the long run than he was in the short run.  The same is true of our own lives.

The Push for Reconciliation

v.17 –

• ·         This is a bit of a rhetorical question on Paul’s part.  The assumption would be, based on Paul’s initial description of Philemon back in verses 1 through 7, that of course Philemon would regard Paul as a partner in the faith.  But as with all rhetorical questions, the objective is not actually to make an inquiry at all.  Rather, it is to make a pointed statement about something.  In this case, Paul is calling attention to what he already knows in a manner that is designed to elicit the correct response from Philemon.  Namely, the hope is that Philemon would sort of put his back up and respond “What?  Of course I regard you as a partner!  I cannot believe you are actually questioning that.  Of course I will receive Onesimus back as you request!”

v.18 –

• ·         Paul is not kidding with his intention and desire to see Onesimus welcomed back into Philemon’s home.  He is so committed to this idea that he actually puts up a guarantee of repayment.  However, one has to wonder if this is just a little bit of gamesmanship on the Apostle’s part.  I mean, he has already established Philemon’s love, faith, and dedication to both Paul personally and to the cause of Christ.  So does he really expect Philemon to cash this “blank check”?  And if not, would that imply some disingenuousness on the part of the Apostle?
• ·         A key to keep in mind is just how massive of a social barrier Paul is trying to break through here.  In modern America we read this passage and perhaps think to ourselves “What is the big deal?  Of course Philemon will accept Onesimus back.  Paul has already clearly established Philemon’s great standing in the faith.  How could he not do the right thing?”  But that mindset fails to take into account what a huge issue it was in Roman culture and law for a slave to run away.  The law permitted the aggrieved slave owner to enact essentially any punishment he pleased, up to and including execution.  Paul, in calling for a Christ-like response in this situation, is fighting against not just one person’s assumptions and preferences, but against an entire culture’s worldview.

v.19 –

• ·         The preceding point is born out here in verse 19.  Why else would Paul make such a back-handed comment in the latter half of this verse?  He follows his offer of repayment for Onesimus with a rather pointed reminder that Philemon owes his very salvation to Paul.  This seems rather crude to our modern American sensibilities wherein we strive to avoid conflict at all costs.  But again Paul is attempting to bring about reconciliation and punch through the social barriers that are in place in the lives and hearts and minds of the people involved.
• ·         The point for us today is that we ought to be prepared, as Paul was, to go to extreme lengths to work toward reconciliation; both between God and man through evangelism and between man and man through counseling and mediation.  Are we prepared to do what is necessary such as asking pointed and uncomfortable questions, even though it may go against the grain of societal norms?

Out of Body Christianity

v.20 –

• ·         We have already seen how Paul’s attitude toward and perception of his fellow Christians was quite different from our usual modern American Christian perspective.  He regarded them as dear brothers, colleagues, and fellow slaves of Christ.  Our tendency today is to view other believers at best as respected members of the same social club, and at worst, either due to personality conflicts with members of one’s own church or a faction mentality applied toward members of a different church, as only one step removed from an unbeliever.
• ·         In light of those points, here in verse 20 we once again see Paul’s heart toward the faithful.  He considers the issue of reconciliation between Philemon and Onesimus to be of such great importance that the harmonious resolution of the situation will fill his heart with joy.  It is in this way that he hopes to receive a benefit from Philemon.
• ·         Imagine if our churches today were filled with people who yearned to receive joyful benefits from their brothers and sisters in Christ when those spiritual siblings demonstrate the heart and mind of Jesus in their lives.  How much would that increase our zeal for ministry?  In the case of existing believers, we would pursue sanctification in them because we long to reap a spiritual benefit from being a part of that transformation.  In the case of unbelievers, we would be desperate to be a part of leading them to Christ to add to the circle of like-minded people we are trying to surround ourselves with so as to increase the harvest of joy we receive.

v.21 –

• ·         There is a great disparity in Paul.  On the one hand, as this verse demonstrates, he has absolute faith and trust; not in Philemon and Onesimus, but in God, to bring about a successful reconciliation between them.  But on the other hand, as we have witnessed throughout this letter, Paul is engaged in doing everything he possibly can in and of himself to pave the way for that reconciliation to take place.
• ·         This is a pattern seen repeatedly throughout the Bible.  God expects us to place implicit faith in His providence.  But while we wait for His acting on His time table He requires us to pour ourselves into whatever the situation is that we are desiring an outcome for.

v.22 –

• ·         What a reality check!  Through this whole letter Paul has been begging, borrowing, and pleading for the hoped for reconciliation.  And we have already discussed how different his perspective is than ours often is.  And now to be reminded of the harsh truth that the Apostle has been sitting in a prison cell this entire time.  It boggles the mind that he is so selflessly focused upon others, to the point that he almost completely disassociates himself from his present situation in favor of working toward the growth of the gospel of Jesus.
• ·         Would that we were so outward focused.

The Significance of the Routine

v.23 –

• ·         The name dropping that Paul does in these verses is really quite interesting.
• ·         Epaphras is most likely the same person as Epaphroditus, whom Paul describes in Phil. 2:25 as “my brother, coworker and fellow soldier”.  This man seems to have had a hand in founding the church at Colossae, as seen in Col. 1:7 and 4:12.

v.24 –

• ·         Mark is of course John Mark, the man who the Gospel of Mark is named after and who waivered at times in his faith, even deserting Paul and Barnabas on their first missionary journey.  It is especially interesting that Paul chooses to list him here because the mending of the relationship between Paul and Mark mirrors exactly the reconciliation that Paul is desiring between Philemon and Onesimus.  In this way, it looks like Paul is pointing out that what he is asking Philemon to do is the same thing that Paul has already done with Mark.
• ·         Luke is the author of the Gospel of Luke as well as Acts.  He served as Paul’s personal physician on many of his journeys.
• ·         Aristarchus also seems to have been a faithful member of Paul’s inner circle.  He is mentioned in Acts 27:2 and Col. 4:10.
• ·         Demas, unlike the rest of these men, seems to have been an apostate, clearly after this letter to Philemon was written.  In 2 Tim. 4:10 Paul writes to Timothy that Demas deserted him since “he loved the present age”.  The wording used by Paul seems to indicate more than just a moment or a season of unfaithfulness.  There is an implication of a greater degree of falling away and pursuing the world.  This is a sobering reminder of the reality that not all who are in the church are of the church.

v.25 –

• ·         The word grace here calls into view the good will, loving-kindness, and favor of God.  Since Paul points this directly at Christ it would seem to indicate that he is thinking primarily of the saving work of Jesus as the medium of God’s grace. 
•           This is fascinating because it means that Paul is literally saying that he desires for the fullness of salvation to be with Philemon.  But Philemon is already a Christian, so what does he need saving for?  The reality is this.  Salvation is a single moment in time followed by a lifetime of sanctification.  But the power of Christ to keep us and continually intercede for us is an ongoing reality that must be present in our lives if we are to live victoriously.  This is the closing that Paul chooses to send to Philemon.  It is far more than just a simple and casual dismissal.  And it serves as a reminder that everything we do, even the small things, ought to be carefully considered as to their potential value in elevating the name of Christ.